By Love Dr. Rob

Karma – When it comes back around!

As a Relationship Advisor, I am often asked what’s wrong with women these days. Men seem to be surprised by the way their counterparts are acting. That’s not the way a woman is supposed to act. Then they hit me with the line. She acts like she’s a man. 

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this. I’m not sure what part gets me the most. Is it that he is surprised by her behavior, or that he thinks it would be alright if she was a man. I am well aware of the double standard, but I also know that what goes around comes around. 

As men, we have grown so accustomed to dishing it that we can’t take it. We forget that the whole time we were mistreating women, we were teaching them how to treat us. Now the student has become the teacher, and she shouldn’t do us like that? What’s good for the goose isn’t always good to the gander. 

It should not be a surprise when the pupil becomes as good as the teacher. You can’t deny that the hurt that has been handed down by men as a right, has deeply impacted the foundation of African American relationships. Women have grown tired of being on the receiving end of hurt. And what’s worse is men have made being dysfunctional look so good. 

Want Traditional Roles in Relationships?

If you want women to be woman, we as men have to be men. I don’t mean the iron chest nothing hurts me, men. But the open, honest, human being, I have feelings man. If more men can display that side there is a greater chance of winning our women and families back. If we can’t do that, we should not be surprised when we lose our women and children. Remember they are only showing us what we have taught them. 

As men, the most responsible thing we can do is take ownership of the pain we have caused. In many cases, it was done because we were incapable of dealing with our own trauma. Nevertheless, right now we are at a point where the pain is being redistributed, and the man, the woman, and the children are being impacted. 

The only way to fix it is we have to acknowledge whatever emotional damage we endured. Figure out who, what, and when hurt you. Then you have to deal with those issues directly. Make sure you take all the necessary steps to heal properly. And most importantly do not enter into another relationship until you have healed.