The Perfect Stranger
by Love Dr. Rob
You had your share of bad situations. You think you know why most relationships fail. And one day you finally meet them. They are THE one – your soulmate. Mr. or Mrs. Perfect- the one you have waited for forever. Then one morning you wake up like “who the hell are you?”
It has happened to so many of us. The person who was everything you ever wanted, became the one you never want again. Which one is the real them? At this point, it’s too hard to tell, and now you don’t trust yourself or them.
What happens, far too often, is people want you so much that they become who you want them to be. As they sit listening to you, they are transforming right before your eyes. Everything you like and don’t like they are making a mental note of it. And just like that there you have it Mr. or Mrs. Perfect.
Once they got you….
The problem is once they have you, THEY HAVE YOU. You have fallen for who you think they are, and then the real them shows up. Now they expect you to love them for who they are when you don’t even know who they are. Then to complicate things even more they blame you because they weren’t honest.
First, a relationship without trust is a relationship headed for disaster. How can you trust someone who has had a mask on from the beginning? Here you are sharing your whole self with them, while they are hiding. It is hard enough for most of us to trust somebody with our heart anyway, but to have to trust it again with someone who wasn’t genuine from the start is mission impossible.
Secondly, if this person has to pretend to be someone else, they don’t even believe they deserve you. With that being said you would have to sacrifice what you want for someone who has proven they wouldn’t do the same for you. Who wants to give their all to someone they had to settle for? This is a recipe for destruction.
This is why I recommend people DO NOT ENTER a relationship until they are happy with themselves. As important as knowing what you want is, you should become everything they would want as well. This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, but you do have to be self-assured. That means they will know exactly what and who they are getting from the start.
Also, another step that is just as important as taking your time. Moving too quickly gives them an advantage. It is harder for actors to stay in character for a long period of time. Even without knowing, they start showing glimpses of who they truly are. You need to know if they are who they say they are, or is it just an act. If it’s an act you have every right to cut and wrap that scene. If you don’t, one day you will wake up and your heart will belong to a perfect stranger.