If you’re going to commit payroll fraud (allegedly), don’t do it while having an affair with the mayor. Somehow, this sounds like sound advice.
Or maybe you should find a mayor less targeted than Mayor Cantrell. This also sounds like sound advice. Because maybe, just maybe, you’ll become a casualty of the mayor’s drama. Also known as if they can’t get her, they’ll come after those close to her. Like you.
Other Pieces of Advice
If the mayor takes up residence at the Pontalba, and you as a member of her Executive Protection Unit aren’t authorized to provide protection at a place deemed her residence, then you shouldn’t be submitting timecards for work you’ve done at the Pontalba. Some may consider this payroll fraud. When the money from this is deposited into your account, the federal government may consider that wire fraud. Then you may have to consider hiring a lawyer.
Here are things you should consider not doing at the Pontalba because they could be deemed incriminating:
- Watering plants.
- Drinking Old Fashioneds in the middle of the afternoon when you’re supposed to be working.
- Scribbling sweet little nothings in a love journal you and the mayor are co-authoring.
- Taking a picture of the sweet little nothings and the Old Fashioned and not deleting it.
- Being caught on tape walking the mayor into the Pontalba.
- Repeatedly spending an unusually long amount of time alone with the mayor inside the Pontalba, then submitting a time card as if you’re working.
If the mayor offers, you probably shouldn’t accept a position on HANO’s board either. Googling the name of another mayor who got caught sleeping with one of her security members also isn’t a good idea. Neither is googling “where does Lee Zurich live,” or “how secure is WhatsApp.” All of these searches are signs of guilt. And googling a reporter’s name after he breaks a story on you can be seen as having bad intentions. Juries tend to not like that.
Related: Mayor Cantrell Needs a New Security Officer
Once you’re under investigation, don’t pressure the interim NOPD superintendent to make your case go away. You probably also shouldn’t attend a meeting where the mayor informs the interim superintendent that she won’t be considered for the permanent position. Especially if this takes place after the interim superintendent refuses to make your case go away. This could be deemed conspiratorial. And proof that you and the mayor have a relationship that goes beyond what’s considered professional.
If the FBI questions you, do not under any circumstances lie to the FBI. This could result in an indictment for submitting a false statement to the FBI. Then you could find yourself facing up to 5 years in prison.
From NOPD Veteran to Indicted
In three short years, Jeffrey Vappie went from a 20+ year veteran of the NOPD chosen to be on Mayor Cantrell’s Executive Protection Unit, to divorced, unemployed, and ultimately indicted. He was indicted on seven counts of wire fraud and one count of submitting a false statement. Vappie can get up to 20 years for the wire fraud, and 5 for lying. Oh, and it was reported that the Fraternal Order of Police rejected his membership application. That’s one serious downfall. All of this could’ve been avoided if he’d done one simple thing: punched the damn timecard.