You have to decide what you really want.
“It should all be so simple, but you’d rather make it hard. Loving you is like a battle and we both end up with scars.” Does it feel like Lauren was talking about you? What’s wrong with this man? You have been there for him through it all. The good, the bad, the ugly, the baby mama drama, the I’m doing bad, and even the I’m just doing me stage, and he still doesn’t see what he has. What can you do when he won’t change?
When is he going to get it? All that you have put up with to prove to him you’re that one, for this dummy to still be looking for it. They said love is blind but damn. You’re trying to give him love and he is as blind as Ray Charles in a dark room with shades on.
Who is the problem? Is it you or is it him? At this point, you probably don’t even know. The truth is it is both of y’all, but mostly you. Even though that’s not what you want to hear, I got to give you the real. He is not doing anything you don’t let him do. Ask yourself why would he change or appreciate you now, when he didn’t do it before and you still gave him your all?
I remember an old man telling me one day, you should love who loves you. I was to young to understand it then, but now it makes so much sense. Right now you are doing all you can to get somebody to see that you love them. The whole time you are feeling unloved. The reality is for many men they don’t realize how much love you were giving until they see someone else receiving it. Now some people get it a little sooner, but even then you have created a level of expectation that will demand more even when they are giving you less.
What I would suggest is you start loving you more. If he can’t give you the same love you’re giving yourself find someone who can. Him not realizing your effort has less to do with you and more to do with him. He has either some issues he hasn’t dealt with or still has some growing to do. Either way, it’s not something you can fix.
The crazy part is you keep hoping and praying for him to see the light. Eventually, you will love him so much that he is going to change. What you don’t realize is that’s exactly why he hasn’t changed yet. And if he does finally get there, by then you will probably be so empty from all you have given you won’t even be able to enjoy it.
My advice to you is to move on to find someone who has outgrown the games and overcame their pain. Look for someone who has learned how to love themselves and how to be loved at the same time. Then you have to go through your own healing process. You must learn to love yourself because loving the wrong people will rob you of that ability. Make sure you continue to grow into the woman you know you can be and the woman the man you want deserves.