Three easy steps to cultivate humility in your own life.
We need humility now more than ever. Recent trends in America suggest that by several different metrics, narcissism has been steadily on the rise. This boom in self-aggrandizing and entitlement has poisoned relationships and wreaked havoc in workplaces, sewn increasing division in politics, and fueled the culture war.
We’ve also forgotten how to productively and politely disagree. It has become increasingly difficult to have civil conversations with people who have different points of view, with many simply surrounding themselves with belief-confirming news (and social circles) that insulate them from new ideas, simply reinforcing their preferred ways of seeing the world. We’ve ensconced ourselves in echo-chambers, favoring closed-mindedness and validation instead of open-mindedness, curiosity, and free inquiry. We’ve seen the toll of arrogance in families, neighborhoods, workplaces, and society.
Source: Unsplash (Markus Spiske)
Humility stands in stark contrast with the current state of things, offering us a way to engage ourselves and others with honesty, curiosity, and open-mindedness. The ability to present our ideas and views modestly, share praise and blame, and consider the needs of others, has been shown to increase happiness, strengthen relationships, and achieve professional success.
Humility has long been extolled as an ancient virtue and, yet, all too often, the trait is overlooked and devalued. However, recent scientific research has begun to reveal what our ancestors already knew—that humility has the transformative power to change people’s lives, relationships, work, and society itself.
Humility is about seeing oneself as the right size—not too big (overinflated ego), but also not too small (timidly pusillanimous). It involves (a) awareness: an accurate self-awareness of one’s strengths and weakness, (b) openness: the ability to openly accept feedback and criticism while presenting your own views respectfully, and (c) empathy: an empathic concern for the well-being of other people.
So, how can you develop humility? Start with these three steps:
1. Seek feedback. Start by seeking out honest feedback from a trusted source in your life (e.g., family member, romantic partner, trusted friend, valued colleague). Ask them how humble they perceive you to be, where your blind spots are, and how you could be more aware, open, or empathic. To build humility, you need to be aware of your own areas for growth.
2. Set aside your defensiveness. You might not like the feedback you hear, prompting you to respond defensively by denying any wrongdoing, displacing anger on your source of feedback, or projecting how arrogant other people are. That’s counterproductive. Take a moment to affirm yourself, and embrace this process as the chance to learn and grow, understanding that developing humility requires time and effort. Building humility requires this openness to learn.
3. Focus on empathy. Empathy is the key to humility, and it’s comprised of two parts: the ability to take someone else’s perspective and a genuine concern for the well-being of another person. Building empathy helps us cultivate humility. Before you respond, ask yourself two questions: (1) Why might other perspectives be right? (2) How would I respond if I treated the other person as if they were trying their very best? Empathy can help break our pattern of self-focus and connect us with others.
These three steps can help you begin to cultivate humility in your own life. And as you do, you might be amazed at how your perspective can begin to widen and your relationships can continue to flourish.
Jeff Thomas
Publisher • Opinion Columnist • Licensed General Contractor • Real Estate Appraiser • New Orleans
Jeff Thomas is the publisher of Black Source Media and one of New Orleans’ most direct voices on civic affairs, economic justice, and Louisiana politics. He writes from the intersection of experience and accountability — as a licensed general contractor,a tech company founder and executive with over 30 years experience, and a businessman who has worked across the city’s civic, media, and construction ecosystems for decades.
His Sunday column covers Louisiana legislative politics, insurance discrimination, housing policy, and the forces shaping Black community life in New Orleans and across the state. Thomas writes in the tradition of Black journalists who hold power accountable without apology — building arguments from data, delivering verdicts from evidence, and speaking to Black New Orleans with the directness the moment demands.
He is also the principal of EA Inspection Services, LLC, a government inspection services company. Black Source Media is his platform for the civic conversation New Orleans has needed and too rarely had.
Selected Articles by Jeff Thomas
Black Neighborhoods Pay the Highest Insurance Rates in Louisiana. Here’s What They Don’t Want You to Know.
They Didn’t Yell the N-Word. They Went to Law School, Bided Their Time, and Rewrote the Constitution Instead.
Vappie vs. Morrell: Why Does Justice Look Different in New Orleans?
The State Has the Money. New Orleans East Just Needs Them to Use It.
The Failure of Mitch Landrieu
Publisher — Black Source Media
Jeff Thomas
Publisher • Opinion Columnist • Licensed General Contractor • Real Estate Appraiser • New Orleans
Jeff Thomas is the publisher of Black Source Media and one of New Orleans’ most direct voices on civic affairs, economic justice, and Louisiana politics. He writes from the intersection of experience and accountability — as a licensed general contractor,a tech company founder and executive with over 30 years experience, and a businessman who has worked across the city’s civic, media, and construction ecosystems for decades.
His Sunday column covers Louisiana legislative politics, insurance discrimination, housing policy, and the forces shaping Black community life in New Orleans and across the state. Thomas writes in the tradition of Black journalists who hold power accountable without apology — building arguments from data, delivering verdicts from evidence, and speaking to Black New Orleans with the directness the moment demands.
He is also the principal of EA Inspection Services, LLC, a government inspection services company. Black Source Media is his platform for the civic conversation New Orleans has needed and too rarely had.
Selected Articles by Jeff Thomas
Black Neighborhoods Pay the Highest Insurance Rates in Louisiana. Here’s What They Don’t Want You to Know.
They Didn’t Yell the N-Word. They Went to Law School, Bided Their Time, and Rewrote the Constitution Instead.
Vappie vs. Morrell: Why Does Justice Look Different in New Orleans?
The State Has the Money. New Orleans East Just Needs Them to Use It.
The Failure of Mitch Landrieu
REMNANT TV: GLOBAL CHANGERS, above our paygrade!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9jRqgDOJ8&feature=youtu.be
Investigation -Riots ARE Pre Planned
TEENS + MORE are taught to hate the USA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgsnyHILdb8
___ goal agenda, USE the Youth of a Nation to Agitate
Anarchy and Terror, then, Implement communism.
Then execute the Teens and Youth now seeing the harm they
were deceived into.
IS THIS NEW? nope!
Look what Hitler did, Stalin did and more.
It’s Been in Americas schools 50 years Washing the Minds
of all, from 6 to 60 !
Both these Educational Films will expose the Whole Truth.
Detective Millie, & Detective Matt !!! Has made this “easy”!
WATCH,,, take notes !
BishopT