Let’s find out

Livia Rusu

Everybody has sexual fantasies, but some may go a bit overboard. Don’t worry, I’m not here to judge. Instead, I’d like to show you a most interesting report. After asking 1,500 Canadian adults with a mean age of 30 about their sexual fantasies, University of Montreal researchers ranked a list of the most common and atypical of these.

“Clinically, we know what pathological sexual fantasies are: they involve non-consenting partners, they induce pain, or they are absolutely necessary in deriving satisfaction. But apart from that, what exactly are abnormal or atypical fantasies? To find out, we asked people in the general population,” said the University of Montreal’s Christian Joyal, lead author of the study. “Our main objective was to specify norms in sexual fantasies, an essential step in defining pathologies. And as we suspected, there are a lot more common fantasies than atypical fantasies.”

Apparently, men have more fantasies and describe them more vividly than women (big whoop!). More surprising to find may be that a considerable portion of the interviewed women fantasized themes of sexual submission (e.g., being tied up, spanked, forced to have sex). I can sense some red lights flaring, so I need to add that the Canadian researchers also found that, unlike men, women in general clearly distinguish between fantasy and desire. Namely, even those who reported more extreme themes of submission (e.g. domination by a stranger) said they don’t want these fantasies to come true.  The majority of men, however, would love their fantasies to come true (e.g. threesomes). Also worth mentioning is that women fantasize more than men about having sex with their significant other. Men who are already in a relationship, on the other hand, fantasize much more about extramarital relationships compared to women.

“Overall, these findings allow us to shed light on certain social phenomena, such as the popularity of the book Fifty Shades of Grey with women,” Joyal concluded. “The subject is fascinating. We are currently conducting statistical analyses with the same data to demonstrate the existence of homogeneous subgroups of individuals based on combinations of fantasies. For example, people who have submission fantasies also often report domination fantasies. These two themes are therefore not exclusive, quite the contrary. They also seem associated with a higher level of satisfaction.”

Here’s the break down below. It’s worth noting that this data comes from a Canadian populace, as reported in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. A significant difference might be seen in other countries.

Fantasy Women Men
I like to feel romantic emotions during a sexual relationship 92 88
Taking part in oral sex 79 88
Having sex in an unusual place 82 82
Atmosphere and location are important in my sexual fantasies 86 81
Having sex in a romantic location 85 78
Having sex with someone that I know who is not my spouse 66 83
Masturbating my partner 68 76
Being masturbated by my partner 71 72
Having sex with two women 37 85
Watching two women make love 42 82
Having sex with an unknown person 49 73
Making love openly in a public place 57 66
Being dominated sexually 65 53
Giving cunnilingus 36 78
Having sex with a star or a well-known person 52 62
Giving fellatio 72 27
Dominating someone sexually 47 60
Being masturbated by an acquaintance 37 65
Being tied up by someone in order to obtain sexual pleasure 52 46
Masturbating an acquaintance 33 66
Being masturbated by an unknown person 33 63
Having anal sex 33 64
Having sex with more than three people (all women) 25 75
Masturbating an unknown person 28 62
Tying someone up in order to obtain sexual pleasure 42 48
Watching someone undress without him or her knowing 32 63
Having interracial sex 28 61
Having sex with a woman with very large breasts 19 69
Ejaculating on my sexual partner (For men only) N/A 80
Having sex with someone much older than me 34 48
Having sex with more than three people (both men and women) 57 16
Having sex with two men 31 45
Being photographed or filmed during a sexual relationship 32 44
I have fantasised that my partner ejaculates on me 41 29
Having sex with someone much younger (legally) than me 18 57
Petting with a total stranger in a public place (e.g. metro) 20 48
Indulging in sexual swinging with a couple that I do not know 27 40
Spanking or whipping someone to obtain sexual pleasure 24 44
Being spanked or whipped to obtain sexual pleasure 36 29
Having homosexual (or gay) sex 37 21
Having a sexual relationship with a woman with very small breasts 11 52
Indulging in sexual swinging with a couple that I know 18 42
Being forced to have sex 29 31
Having sex with a fetish or non-sexual object 26 28
Having sex with a prostitute or a stripper 13 40
Having sex with more than three people (all men) 28 13
Showing myself naked or partially naked in a public place 17 23
Watching two men make love 19 16
Sexually abusing a person who is drunk or asleep or unconscious 11 23
Forcing someone to have sex 11 22
Wearing clothing associated with the opposite sex 7 10
My sexual partner urinating on me 4 10
Urinating on my sexual partner 4 9
Having sex with an animal 3 2
Having sex with a child under the age of 12 years 1 2


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.