by Love Dr. Rob

People Say We Can’t Be Friends Because We are Lovers?

For the life of me I don’t understand it. I have seen people of the opposite sex with the best friendships, and when someone tells them they make a cute couple the response is no we are too good as friends. Wait, what? Why would your friendship stop you having a relationship? Is there some kind of rule that says we can only be friends? Somebody help me, because I seriously need to know. 

It’s crazy because I have heard men say they can’t be themselves around their wives or girlfriends. At the same time I have heard women feel they need to tone down when they are around their husbands and boyfriends. Who made these rules? Could this be one of the main reasons relationships aren’t friendships too? I would have to say unequivocally YES. 

Since many don’t view their mates as friends, they end up being together and apart at the same time. Most of them act one way at home and are someone completely different when they are away. Effectively they become nothing more than roommates who only discuss the bills and the kids. Eventually, they become complete strangers. 

Friends not Lovers

The irony is all of the things that make their friends so valuable, they choose not to share in their relationships. If they shared half as much with their mates as they did with their friends maybe the relationship could last. It’s sad that you can share your body and bed with someone you can’t be all of you with. Most times it’s because you don’t want them to stop loving you. But they can’t love you because they don’t even know you. 

If you want your relationship to last make sure your mate is truly your friend. That doesn’t mean you can’t have other friends, but your mate should be your best friend. I know that’s an abnormal concept for the most part. Just imagine all the things you and your friends made it through and y’all are still together. At the end of the day we can’t be anything if we can’t be friends. 

5 thoughts on “Lovers Should Also be Friends”
  1. I was/am who knows! I was dating this guy (so I thought). He was wanting to be intimate but I wasnt there yet. So he gets upset and stop calling or socializing. I explained my reasoning as to why. Do you think I should still persue this person or walk away. One thing I’m not going to do is ran,chase or belittle myself behind soooooo called man! I gave him better credit than that.
    Any suggestions!

    1. The question you should ask is, is this the kind of guy you want. It’s clear he is more interested in the intimacy than your feelings. I think you should move on and wait for the man who is man enough to respect where you are. Many times women who have situations like this will go back to that man and instead of ending up with a man she ends up with disappointment

  2. When can guys just get to get some without any strings? Safe sex. We can be friends. But women always want to be in relationships. Why can’t we just have a sex relationship? I just want to hit and run. I won’t tell anybody. It will be safe. And I might only have one other lady friend. I keep it real in the beginning but women always want something. Money. A committment. Go out on a date. NOOOOO. We just buddies!! Am I wrong for that?

    1. I am sure there are some that might want what you want. However, most women are past that point. They want more and don’t have the time, patience, or desire for someone who only wants sex. The fact is what you are offering they can get anywhere, and they are demanding more. Just know and understand that one day the type of woman you are encountering now will eventually be the type of woman you will want.

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