Some Thoughts on Crackheads, Crumbling Kingdoms, State Budgets, and Exorcising Evil Spirits

By Kenneth Cooper

Let’s say you’re a crackhead, and one day you find that you can no longer support your crack habit with the money from your 9 to 5, so you start raiding the trust fund your parents set aside for you. Though this would be an effective way to subsidize your crack habit in the short term, in the long term this would not be a reliable solution. Eventually, one of three things would have to happen- 1) you’d have to admit that you can’t afford crack anymore and proceed to stop smoking it.; 2) You’d have to admit that you can’t afford to smoke at the levels you’re smoking and proceed to smoke less; or 3) you’d have to get another job, or a higher paying one, that will afford you the financial means to smoke comfortably. This shall henceforth be known as The Crackhead’s Dilemma 

Though our present governor and legislators are not crackheads, they are plagued by this dilemma nonetheless. Presently they are debating how much money, if any, to raid from various trust funds. If the money was being used to pay for something tangible like crack, we’d at least have a definite source of their fixation. But that is not the case. If asked where the $119 million the governor wants or the $74 million House legislators propose on using is going, the vague answer would probably be to fund various government expenses and departments. If asked what’ll happen if they don’t get the money, the response will be a threat of governmental withdrawal and systematic convulsions. Hooked on hurricane spending levels, this increased spending habit began post-Katrina when former governors started spending $4 billion in excess of what they were spending pre-Katrina. Now that the state doesn’t have federal reimbursements to support this habit, they’re looking to citizens to help subsidize the costs, obviously choosing option 3(more money) instead of 2(reducing frivolous spending) or 1(stopping excessive spending).

Let’s say you’re a king who’s inherited a crumbling kingdom. Most of your citizens, who aren’t in jail, have been left poor and uneducated. Your crown city is an economically bereft, crime-infested bowl that sits between a lake and a river. Your major income sources are a royal decree of regressive sales and income taxes, money from the gambling and tourist industry, and dwindling revenue from the oil and gas industry. But here you are, your roads need paving. Your coast is eroding. Healthcare costs are going up, and you’re behind on the pension payments for former members of the royal court and aristocracy. You need money now. What’s a king to do?  How about raise taxes on the already poor and uneducated? So poof. With one wave of your royal scepter, you declare the highest sales tax amongst the 50 kingdoms. You also cut funding to colleges and the health department, making it harder for the citizenry to become healthier, less poor, and better educated. You tell them this is all temporary, but warn that when the tax expires in two years, the kingdom will crumble under the weight of a $1.5 billion deficit. This is an allegory. Louisiana is the kingdom. The king is the present governor. We are the citizenry, and we are left asking…

Why does our new governor resemble our old governor?  Didn’t we elect a new governor so we wouldn’t have old governor problems? If we have a newly elected governor but still have old governor problems, does this mean that our old governor was not a problem?  No. Absolutely not. Our old governor was definitely a problem, a big problem. In the history of state problems, this old governor, whose name we will never ever mention again, was…well to be nice, let’s just say he left our state with a structural catastrophe, financially. Oddly, our new governor, Mr. John Bel Edwards, has resembled him in proposed solutions. 

This isn’t entirely our new governor’s fault. Like our lives, his office and decisions are haunted by the ghost of the old governor. What is to be done about this?

 

Well, New Orleans is a catholic city. Maybe some brave soul can walk down to Walmsley Ave. The archdiocese is there. Surely they have the hook-up on exorcisms. 

6 thoughts on “Some Thoughts on Crackheads, Crumbling Kingdoms, State Budgets, and Exorcising Evil Spirits

  • February 20, 2017 at 5:41 am
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    The gov is on crack? Priceless

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  • February 20, 2017 at 5:42 am
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    And calling priests? Funny

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  • February 20, 2017 at 5:08 pm
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    Last year I looked into the causes of the budget situation. Since 2011 corporations and super rich individuals have looted the treasury of $13 billion. The Governor’s office itself revealed 7,000 corporate tax exemptions. A few examples (I have a longer list) includes Exxon Mobil ($263 million) Cleco Oil (180 million) Property tax refund to corporations (427 million) and to oil fracking companies ($1.2 billion). Even the racist, homophobic show Duck Dynasty received $330,000 per episode.

    Former Secretary of Revenue, Barfield, admitted that of 87 largest companies, only one quarter paid any taxes although 96% of them were profitable. Many received rebates larger than they paid.

    Meanwhile they raised the sales tax again which only hurts the working class, employed and unemployed.

    the policians, are addicted. Democrat and Republican they are addicted to the bribes (excuse me, campaign contributions) they receive to continue the status quo in Louisiana.

    The status quo is low wages, mass incarceration, highest home and car insurance rates in the country. This status quo translates into big profits. They get what their money bought.

    Only a mass working class, independent movement can push them back. In orleans Parish we’re building the Peoples’ Assembly. We need this all over the state.

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  • February 20, 2017 at 6:21 pm
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    Helped clear up the need to pay 11 cent on a dollar, and hundreds more than most states for car insurance. Louisiana is run by Crackheads.

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  • February 20, 2017 at 8:45 pm
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    Another great article, Mister.

    This Crackhead’s Dilemma is the direct results of republican leadership. When Republican Governor Bobby Jindal took office in 2007, Louisiana had a $1.1 Billion surplus. Thanks to Democratic Governor Blanco.

    But, isn’t that always what Republicans do … when there is a surplus … or not … republicans start cutting taxes and giving tax breaks to the wealthy. Then, before long … we find ourselves with deficits. The Stelly Plan experiment is a prime example of republican tax cuts failures.

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  • February 25, 2017 at 8:59 am
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    I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I don’t know who you are but certainly you’re going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

    Reply

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