First things first, let’s make one thing clear, the mayor flexed on the press. No, let’s be even clearer, the mayor went H.A.M.on the press. Not ham as in the gun/ham sandwich a NOPD detective planted on the innocent citizens his fellow officers killed and left for dead on the Danziger Bridge. But H.A.M. as in Hard As a M-fer in the Jay-Z/Kanye West sense. Click here to hear Explicit Lyrics 

In a striking display of an attitudinal abundance of melanin, Mayor Cantrell came out in full force and punked the press last week. For every question they put up about the state of the NOPD, Mayor Cantrell shot them down with two emphatic answers: negative media coverage and the consent decree.

Wait, hold up a minute. An attitudinal abundance of melanin? What the heck is that?

It’s a thing. The mayor possesses…hold up there’s a politically correct way to say this. Um let’s see. The mayor possesses – in attitude -an excessive degree of melanotic expression. Or as one citizen aptly said, “She be up there talking like she straight out that Melph.”  The citizen chose to remain nameless for fear of retribution.  

Retribution in this case would be having their trash going from being picked up once a week to no days a week. 

Mayor Cantrell flexed on the press. 

In politically correct circles, some would say the mayor has a direct communication style that distracts and disturbs certain people. In not so politically correct circles, some would say she’s a sassy black woman. But we’re getting off track.

Why are officers walking around with low morale? Because of the negative, and unappreciative media coverage, according to the mayor.

Why are officers leaving the force? And why are they being micro-managed and over-burdened with procedural paperwork? Because of that god damn consent decree, she said.

The NOPD was placed under a consent decree after the DOJ deemed it one of those police departments that brutalized black people just a bit too excessively.  A bit too excessively meant they shot, killed, and framed people. Oh and also burned another in a car after cutting off his head. All the while plotting and executing department-wide cover-ups. You know, things like that.

But the mayor says times and policies have changed. Nowadays, it’s the officers who can’t breathe. Under the knee of the federal consent decree and negative media coverage, the NOPD gasps for morale and hemorrhages manpower. “Give us free,” the mayor recently said on WBOK. Who knew we were on the Amistad?

Related The Mayor Needs to Get Her Swag Back

You would’ve thought that at some point reporters would’ve clapped back, challenged the mayor, and not let her set the tone with the blame game. Maybe forcefully asked was there anything she or her administration was willing to take responsibility for? But nope. Instead, they were the ones placed on The Hot Seat.

“Why aren’t you showing up to cover our officers’ graduations and ceremonies?”

“Why aren’t you reporting on the good jobs that they do?”

“And why aren’t you doing your part to show these officers that their lives matter?”

When the press conference ended, reporters filed out of the room as their seats went from a simmer to all out flames. One thing was clear: From now on, their coverage would be subjected to the 5th Ward Weebie “Let me Find Out” standard.

Let me find out you reporting mess about the police / Let me find out you not equating Blue Lives with justice and peace. Let me find out….

In the wake of all this stress and negativity, the mayor said she was immediately treating officers to make-overs and new vehicles.  Allowing them to wear shorts, baseball caps, nail polish, tattoos, and beards would be among the first policy changes.

Say what you want about mayor Cantrell. Yes she refused to take responsibility for anything. Yes she was overly combative. And yes she made some exaggerated statements (the NOPD is the best force in the country?). But finally she flexed. She flexed for her administration. And she flexed for the police. 

Hell, Like I said. I’ve even considered showing my appreciation by hugging one. But that would be weird. And something tells me the mayor and the police will need more than just superficial gestures and flexing on the press to make a difference in out there in the streets.