Happy Halloween! Yep, it’s that time of year where grown adults put on costumes and try to find something spooky to get into. Speaking of spooky, guess what: Louisiana and national politics are spooky.
Slavery is back on the ballot these days. Yep. Slavery. Who would’ve thunk it. It seems like only 157 short years ago that we were discussing its merits. Back then, after much thought and war, it was agreed that slavery was too heinous of a practice even for black people. But who knew in this country that there was a class lower than black people. There was and still is, though. WE call them prisoners, who in this state just happen to be mostly black people. But that’s another article.
To this day, throughout most of this country, if you are a prisoner in a state penitentiary, you can still be legally be enslaved. That means in a place like Angola you can be forced to pick cotton against your will for something like 2 cents an hour.
On one hand, you may say what better way to condition prisoners for life out in the free world than by subjecting them to an employer who will underpay them for their labor. On the other hand, you may say let’s just cut the shenanigans.
Louisiana Politics is Spooky Stuff
Here, the shenanigans were supposed to be removed via an amendment on the Nov. 8th ballot. But somehow the language went wrong. Spooky right? Seems simple: Do you support an amendment to ban the practice of slavery unconditionally in the state of Louisiana? Yes. But Amendment 7 on the ballot says something totally different.
Speaking of Nov. 8th and voting, there’s a sign for Luke Mixon* on the corner of Paris and Allen Toussaint that sums up his whole campaign. The sign is a little 4 inch by 4 inch square that sits on a wooden spike. At first glance it appears to be a tombstone. On it, there are scribbles in what looks like crayon. It literally reads:
- Vote 4
- L. Mixon
- 4 Women’s Rights
- 4 La. Senate
There’s a heart around the words Mixon and Women’s. This man was endorsed by the governor. And yet, this is the only visible sign of his campaign in the area. Whatever you do, don’t go near this sign tonight. The ghost of election chances might jump out and bite you.
(*Luke Mixon – an obscure candidate running for the Senate under the Democrat Party in Louisiana
**The Democrat Party in Louisiana – a one-time political force in Louisiana that has drifted further and further into obscurity with each election.)
Meanwhile, we have the $15 million dollar man – John Kennedy. He is trying to disguise himself as a sane individual instead of the punchline pandering comic he normally prefers. In the ad, Kennedy talks in hushed tones about all the responsible this and that he’s done as our Senator. It’s a cool act. You would never know he was the same guy a few weeks ago talking about if you hate cops just because they’re cops, next time you’re in trouble call a crackhead.
National Politics is Spooky Stuff Too
Like something out of a slasher flick, some right-wing nut broke into Nancy Pelosi’s house.He tried to tie Nancy’s 82 year old husband up to a chair and bash his head in with a hammer, unless he told him where Nancy was. Where Nancy was, was on the other side of the country in D.C. thank goodness. And luckily, thanks to some serious heads-up by Nancy’s husband and a 911 dispatcher, the police arrived just in time to avert a real-life Jason or Michael Myers moment.
Republicans, of course, were quick to denounce this as an unfathomable, senseless act of violence directed at a fellow member of Congress. Yet back on the campaign circuit, Republicans immediately resorted to vilifying Pelosi and Democrats again. They labeled them as a bunch of Socialists, Marxist, Communists intent on destroying the country by flooding it with Fentanyl, illegal immigrants, dead fetuses, and lazy black people.
Related: The Mayor and the Council Tussle
Meanwhile, President Biden, seemingly energized by 2 liters of Red Bull and a sugar sandwich, denounced the act of violence in one of his most forceful speeches to date. But he refused to get tough and tie the attack to the Republican rhetoric. Come on, Joe. The midterms are a week and a day away. Your party is on the ropes. Play the dozens. Simple message: This is what a Republican America looks like: insurrections, racism, breaking into the Speaker of The House’s house to bash her head in with a hammer. Failing to play the political dozens is how you end up like Jimmy Pearson.***
(***Jimmy Pearson -famed political up-and-comer from Good Times season 3, who refused to get down dirty and play the dozens with Alderman Davis in episode called The Politicians. Pearson promptly lost the election to Alderman Davis (like the Democrats are set to do to Republicans). And despite a vow to return exchanging yo mama jokes in his underwear in the middle of the street if that’s what it would take to win the next election, was never heard from again. As a result, the Evans family spent 3 more seasons toiling away in the ghetto. damn, damn, damn)
And New Orleans Politics is Spooky Stuff
And then there’s our mayor. Our mayor, our mayor, our mayor. Mayor Cantrell finally dropped a treat in the City Council’s basket. She ran out of tricks to avoid paying back that $30,000 the Council says she beat the city out of. That had to be a tough one for her, pulling money out of her own pocket to hush J.P. and Helena. This did overshadow her continued effort to make living in New Orleans less and less affordable. Raise your hand if you want to pay the S&WB more money. Raise your hand if you want to pay $8 million more to have your trash picked up once a week instead of twice a week.
I know. These are some spooky times. Remember on Halloween when all we had to worry about was strangers putting razor blades in apples? This word equals 1000. What are you still doing here? Put on your costume and jostle kids for candy. Remember, step lightly around Allen Toussaint and Paris.
Politics on Halloween is Spooky Stuff