If You See A Republican In The Street, You Should Hug One.

Don’t walk on by. They deserve something, a hug at least. Have you been watching the news? State Republicans are on the march. After the latest on Ronald Greene, they’re demanding justice — justice for us. Not the Elbert Guillory, Clarence Thomas, and Ben Carson us. But the us us. You know, the metaphysical incarnation that police can’t stop beating on, and whose vote Republicans are currently trying to suppress. That us. I feel so, so…what’s the word? Accepted now.  

Now when police beat a black man to death, we can rest assured knowing that in one to two short business years Republicans will get back to us on that. What. A. Relief. And it has nothing, nothing at all, to do with how this will affect Governor John Bel Edwards politically.

Racism is Over

With all that racism stuff in the past, there’s now no way I could imagine a Republican governor doing nothing after getting a texts that reads, “Oh hey, good morning. How you doing? I just wanted to let you know that last night some of our deputies might’ve violently beat the you-know-what out of a black man. And that black man might’ve like violently died before EMS arrived. But you know, we’re like vigilantly investigating it. And we’ll um…let you know what we find out.”

Apparently, that’s what our present governor did — the nothing part. Oh I get text like that all the time, he was quoted as saying. Clearly, Republicans had had enough. No more could they sit by and watch us be treated like this. And it had nothing, nothing at all, to do with how this will affect Governor John Bel Edwards politically.

Now here we are almost three years after police dragged, kicked, punched, and tased Ronald Greene to death, and all the top state Republicans are on it. No more thoughts. No more prayers. And no more silence and thin blue lines. Now, the party of Lincoln has got to thinking. And they’re coming at us with all kinds of vows. They’ve vowed to finally and once and for all expose every Democrat who knew about the video. They’ve vowed to out and oust every Democrat who helped cover it up. And lastly, they’ve even vowed to impeach Governor John Bel Edwards (Democrat) if the investigation warrants it. What a selfless act. Lincoln must be tipping his top hat in his grave.

Related: John Bel Edwards Pulls Through

Who would’ve thunk it. Here we are on the cusp of a full fledged Kumbaya between black people and the state Republican Party.  And it has nothing, nothing at all, to do with how this will affect Governor John Bel Edwards politically. Who knows, at this rate we might even be let into all the secret country clubs and granted full access to the white women. Jeeesus. Could you imagine it? Baby steps first.

First we need to focus on the justice in front of us. And that starts with accepting this new found appreciation for our lives with all sincerity and love. In short, don’t listen to Issac Hayes. Issac told us to walk on by. But when you see a Republican walking down the street, give them a hug instead. Embrace them. Hold them. Squeeze them tight, even if you feel their backbones begin to crack and they start to turn blue in the face. Of all the appreciation we can show, it’s the least they deserve.

Click Here to Hear Issac Hayes Sing