Some Local News You Might’ve Missed While President Trump Was Ruining The Country

by Kenneth Cooper

First things first, what you need to know is that Jefferson Parish President Mike Yenni did not put his mouth on a 17 year-old boy’s penis. Though he apparently expressed his desire to do so via text message, and possibly in person, and possibly during a passionate kiss in a public bathroom, he was never afforded the opportunity to put the aforementioned penis in his mouth. So there, one less embarrassment for the parish and the state. Still, the Jefferson Parish School Board, the Jefferson Parish City Council, and most elected Jefferson Parish officials want him out, and 40-45,000 voters have signed a recall petition.  All this has caused Yenni to do is show his petty side.

After the state Dept. of Education dropped the overall grade of the parish’s public schools from a B to a C, Yenni erected an education task force to figure out what went wrong.  Typically, that would be something for the school board to deal with, but apparently, Yenni was still feeling a little salty about being banned him from all public school campuses, so he overstepped them. This apparently does not fall under his promise to not let the scandal affect the parish’s business. But it did inspire the head of the parish council to out-petty Yenni by sending his fellow council members an email containing the texts Yenni sent to the 17-year old boy. The texts allegedly detail the when, where, and how Yenni would’ve liked the penis placed in his mouth.

Notwithstanding standards of decency ,  the fact is that in Louisiana it is perfectly legal for a 40 year-old, married man with a kid to give a 17 year-old high school student a blowjob – if the 17 year-old consents. That and the fact that the blowjob never took place has been Yenni’s defense. Maybe that was enough of an embarrassment.

Speaking of in need of support…

Newell Normand needs a hug. Maybe some empathetic citizens should all gather around and give him one big group one. On Thursday, Normand, the sheriff of Jefferson Parish, had to suffer through, of all things, giving a press conference without insulting black people. Anyone who’s seen or heard the sheriff speak recently should know how taxing this had to be on the man. But there he was in front of the press, colleagues, and concerned citizens displaying a restraint that only paled in comparison to the gall.

Normand was there to announce that the Jefferson Parish DA’s office was charging Ronald Gasser (a white man) with 2nd degree murder for killing Joe McKnight (an unarmed black man). Gasser killed McKnight, the ex-NFL player and John Curtis alum, in a road rage incident in December. Back then, Normand was in his element, pounding on a podium while chastising black people for not understanding why another white man was being released after shooting an unarmed black man. He even took time out to read some of the angry email sent to his office and a councilman’s. Thursday, though, he announced the indictment with the enthusiasm of a baby forced to eat boiled cabbage. Throughout the 6 minute press conference, his only show of emotion was a verbal one. When asked how he felt about the charges, Normand dryly said he was pleased.

Meanwhile in Orleans Parish…

Attorney General Jeff Landry wants to #makeneworleanssafeagain. All that it requires is a return to the good ole pre-“hug a thug” policing days when the NOPD could violate citizens’ rights. If Mayor Landrieu won’t take us there, Landry said he will, with the help of his good buddy, President Donald Trump. So far in his unofficial quest to become either mayor of New Orleans or NOPD chief, Landry has sent in his own police force, coordinated with commanders behind the police chief’s back, and even gotten the sheriff and the DA on his side. Next up is renegotiating the NOPD consent decree with the president and incoming U.S. attorney general. As expected, this is all driving Mayor Landrieu nuts, so nuts that Landrieu dropped all formal pretense and was quoted as asking why Landry just couldn’t stay in his lane. And people thought Landry would be satisfied telling Gov. Edwards where transgenders could use the bathroom. Apparently not.

Now you know, just in case you were too busy with the Trumpscapades on every news program.

 

3 thoughts on “Some Local News You Might’ve Missed While President Trump Was Ruining The Country

  • February 5, 2017 at 10:08 pm
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    Laugh Out Loud Funny!!!!!

    Reply
  • February 8, 2017 at 3:04 am
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    Man I could not stop laughing while reading this!! Great stuff!

    Reply
  • February 13, 2017 at 11:56 pm
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    Funny and true! Thanks Think504 – who is coloredthought? I have enjoyed Kenneth Cooper articles for a long time. You two make a great team!

    Reply

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