A Snarky Look at the former US President

I live in fear. As I sit here writing for my black job, I fear that one day an immigrant will take it. To be clear, I’m talking about an illegal immigrant, not the good kind from Europe. Why are these illegal immigrants only interested in black jobs? I don’t know. But former President Trump says they are. So who am I to doubt such a stable genius?

I often wonder how it’ll happen. In my fears, I see not one, but a pack of illegal immigrants showing up at my door. They appear threatening, armed with fentanyl and a lifetime of poverty. Their bodies caked with border dust. “Come out,” they’ll say. “Come out with your hands and job in the air.” And just like that, I’ll be replaced and unemployed.

Related: Why Is Trump So Beloved?

I don’t know exactly when or why, but this scenario will happen. Unless we elect Donald Trump as President.

(FYI: if reelected, Trump will definitely resurrect his plan to build a 2,000-mile moat on the southern border. He previously suggested this plan to Homeland Security while in office. The plan was to stock the moat with snakes and immigrant-eating alligators. Remember, Kamala Harris, in her role as Border Czar, has yet to even entertain this idea.)

We must elect Trump, not only because he’s the best candidate for the job, but because his opponent, Kamala Harris, is not human. Humans don’t possess the power to change races. Chameleons do. But not humans. And as Trump says, Harris was Asian just a few years ago. But now look at her. She stands before us as a full-grown black woman, equipped with rhythm and Afro-centric hips. She even laughs black now. The thought of her laughing and strutting towards the White House should scare all voters.

But it will happen. She will laugh. She will strut. Mark my word. Unless we elect Trump as President.

There are many reasons why. Many, many reasons. But the chief reason we should elect Trump is his unique ability to not only live in his own world but also to will it into existence. Look at January 6th. Look at the mob of people who stormed the Capitol to stop the election. Trump lied and said Democrats stole the election. That is an example of taking an idea and riling it up into reality. Look at his own assassination attempt. That, too, was partly the culmination of Trump willing political violence into our lives. Just think of how it’ll be when his other thoughts become real life.

Under a President Trump, Democrat doctors will reportedly be aborting babies nine months into pregnancy. They’ll reportedly be doing it all over the country, even though it’s presently illegal. And you know what President Trump will do. Put a stop to it.

Under a President Trump, many people, and he means many, will find themselves stranded at sea on overturned boats. These poor people, good citizens, face an unlikely scenario. Stay atop those boats and risk electrocution or jump into water full of hungry sharks. You know what President Trump will do about that. Put a stop to it.

The choice is clear, people. This is the most important election of our lives. You should be afraid. Your lives should be filled with fear and anxiety. If not, you just wait until Donald Trump is elected President.