Our mayor picks up cans, the ones that have been kicked down the road. Allegedly Mitch kicked them there, back when he was mayor. But this mayor, our mayor, picks them up.
If you happen to see our mayor while driving by, don’t intervene. Don’t try to stop her. Don’t call Human Health Services. And don’t you dare call the NOPD. It’ll be hours before they show up, if at all. If you see her, just let the mayor be. According to her, this is one of her greatest accomplishments since she called the Pontalba home.
Let’s be clear though. These aren’t ordinary cans. This ain’t Coke, Pepsi, Sprite, or Budweiser for those who like crappy beer. These cans are called Lincoln Beach, left over road construction funds from Katrina, and the site formerly known as Six Flags.
In one haphazard way or another, the mayor has picked these cans up and done something with them. $25 million to bring the beach back to black people. After a shady bidding process, Six Flags is now Bayou Phoenix, a mecca of amusement and entertainment. And probably by the time our unborn grandkids are old enough to rear-end each other, the city will finally be reaping the benefits of all this road construction.
Mayor Cantrell Is Out To Flex Post-Recall
But there’s one can the mayor just can’t stoop low enough to grasp. That can is the federal consent decree. For over a decade the consent decree continues to plague the NOPD. This can caused the mayor all kinds of back pain, and has wreaked havoc on her common sense.
Last week during her first post-recall flex, she was in prime Cantrell mode, putting one foot forward only to trip over it with the other. After citing all the cans she’s picked up, recycled, and done all kinds of black girl magic with, she announced that her administration will no longer be participating in the public consent decree hearings. The same decree she says is the number one source of most of the NOPD’s problems.
When asked why, the mayor said the hearings have long ago devolved into federal overreach. When asked why now, the mayor said word salad. Chief Woodfork appeared on WBOK and fell on the sword, saying this was her idea. Even if you buy that, the question remains: why now? What could have ever happened?
Well, reports surfaced that one of the federal monitors intervened and said no to the mayor getting her Vappie back. Supposedly, there was a question of Vappie being reunited with the mayor after all the payroll and affair drama. But apparently, a federal monitor shut all talk of that down.
Related: Mayor Cantrell Might Go Off if the Recall Falls Short
Strange coincidence, isn’t it? Soon after hearing this, the mayor decided to pull out of a process that a judge deemed essential to getting the NOPD from under the consent decree. [Insert common sense.] [Insert havoc being wreaked.] Then ask yourself on what planet does that make sense. Not on this one, or the one our grandkids’ grandkids will have to flee to after we overheat this one.
The most efficient way to get from under the consent decree is to comply with the consent decree. Not moan about it because you feel it’s unfair or because you have a vendetta.
We shall see where this goes though. The feds now say the NOPD is backsliding. They point to poor supervision, and just flat out not having enough officers. Now we can add antagonizing to the list.
Mayor Cantrell Is Out To Flex Post-Recall
Hopefully, once the dopamine rush from defeating the recall wears off, the mayor gets back to doing what she says she does best — picking up cans. Wouldn’t it be great for her legacy if she somehow got this last one off the road?