Teedy is about to go straight Teddy on these fools. Wait, you know Teddy, her alter ego? Maybe it’s better if she tells it.  “I get accused of sleeping with half the city of New Orleans — both genders and all pronouns. I’m known as Teedy sometimes and Teddy other times.”

The public has about 9 days before she goes on a Teddy rampage of political retribution, also known as payback. Though no official warning has been given. And no public threats have been made. Citizens had best beware. Some business owners should start recalculating their future profits. Politicians, from state Reps to judges, should begin repenting for some of the decisions they’ve made. Darkness could be coming for many. Unless…

Unless the NOLATOYA crowd can produce 10,000 more signatures by February 22nd. That’s about the number needed to recall Mayor Cantrell. If the organizers hit their mark, then boom, Teedy is suddenly teetering on the brink of being voted out of office. If they don’t…

And if they don’t, after the names of all who’ve signed the recall petition have been released, they’ll be nothing but restraint left to stop Mayor Cantrell from offering up sacrifices to the almighty gods of pettiness. Some may find that morally repugnant. Some may find it entertaining. If the mayor does go full Teddy, she’ll have a plethora of options.

Headlines:

Outed Business Owner Wonders Why All The Streets In The Neighborhood Are Being Paved Except The One That Runs In Front Of His.

After Recall Effort, Local Businesses Find Themselves Dealing With Surprise Inspections. Others Have Their Liquor Licenses Questioned.

Prominent Citizen Calls The Police And Gets The Noonie Man Treatment.

City Council Vice President Helena Moreno Claims That Garbage Trucks Just Roll Pass Her House.

Council President J. P. Morrell Suspects Sewerage & Water Board Did Something Shady To His Pipes.

Yes, neither of them have signed the petition, but they’ve indirectly supported it, and possibly prompted it, with their actions. And words. Especially the hyperbolic ones.

Headline:

On Day 364 City Council Says New Evidence Found Proving That Mayor Cantrell Unprecedentedly Sucks.

They’d say they were just doing their jobs. And that’s exactly what the Times Picayune said when it requested the names of all who’ve signed the recall petition. When they put in the request, Eileen Carter, one of the recall’s organizers, was like you can see us in court. The Picayune was like, um you can see the fine print.

Related: This Week in as the Teedy Turns

She did. The fine print said it was a matter of public record. And on Ash Wednesday the public sees the list.

Headline:

Aides Say Mayor Cantrell Just Ordered A Brand New Pair Of Reading Glasses.

Rebuttal:

City Council Wonders If She Charged The City $30,000 For Them.

Imagine the shock, awe, and not-so-pleasant words some exchanged when they found out they put their names on a public record. Last month, the recall was about 10,000 short. This month, there might be 10,000 people asking if they can have their signatures retracted.

Headline:

Local Business Owner Has A Change Of Heart, Says, “Awe That Teedy, She Ain’t So Bad.”

Now the city is rubbing its palms together in anticipation, wondering if Teedy will release the Teddy. Or wondering what will happen if the recall proceeds. If it did survive an audit, that would be an unprecedented achievement in this city. Eileen Carter and Belden Noonie-Man Batiste could start a non-profit and provide recall training across the country.

On a practical note, the district council members would be left drawing straws to see which at-large council member would serve as acting mayor. Then there’d be a special election since Cantrell has more than two years left in her term. Then we’d get a new mayor. And a new police chief. And most likely new heads of city departments, which the council would vet first. That’s a lot. There’s a word for what would be happening. The word is chaos.

Headline:

In A Week, New Orleanians Go into Fat Tuesday Wondering If They’ll Throw Out The Baby Or Just The Mardi Gras Water.

We’ll see come Ash Wednesday.