From Our Friends at VERYWELL MIND

9 Psychological Strategies to Get Ahead in Life

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS

Success is often defined as the ability to reach your goals in life, whatever those goals may be. In some ways, a better word for success might be attainment, accomplishment, or progress. It is not necessarily a destination but a journey that helps develop the skills and resources you need to thrive.

At a Glance

There are many different tactics for how to be successful in life, but the strategy that works best for you may depend on what success means to you. If you think of success as doing well at work or earning a high salary, your professional goals and accomplishments will take priority.

While professional success can be one piece of the puzzle, it leaves out many other important areas of life. Family, romantic relationships, academics, and athletics are just a few areas where people may strive for success. Your definition of success may vary, but many might define it as being fulfilled, happy, safe, healthy, and loved.

While there is no single right way to be successful, you can improve your chances by building a growth mindset, improving your emotional intelligence, developing mental toughness, and strengthening your willpower, among other strategies.

Because goals are self-created, what people view as success can vary depending on their needs, goals, and situation. There may not be a perfect combination of ingredients that can guarantee success. Still, there are some basic steps you can follow that can improve your chances of being successful in life, love, work, or whatever happens to be important to you.

Guido Mieth / Getty Images

Build a Growth Mindset

Research by psychologist Carol Dweck suggests that there are two basic mindsets that influence how people think about themselves and their abilities: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.¹

People who possess a fixed mindset believe that things such as intelligence are static and unchangeable. Those with a fixed mindset believe that success isn’t a result of hard work—it’s simply a consequence of innate talents.

Because they believe that such talents are something people are either born with or without, they tend to give up more easily in the face of a challenge. They quit when things do not come easily because they believe that they lack the inborn skills needed to excel.

Build a Growth Mindset

Those who have a growth mindset, on the other hand, feel that they can change, grow, and learn through effort. People who believe that they are capable of growth are more likely to achieve success. When things get tough, they look for ways to improve their skills and keep working toward success.

People with a growth mindset believe that they have control of their life, while those with a fixed mindset believe that things are out of their control.

What can you do to build a growth mindset?

• Believe that your efforts matter. Rather than thinking their abilities are fixed or stuck, people who have a growth mindset believe that effort and hard work can lead to meaningful growth.
• Learn new skills. When faced with a challenge, they look for ways to develop the knowledge and skills that they need to overcome and triumph.
• View failures as learning experiences. People with growth mindsets don’t believe that failure is a reflection of their abilities. Instead, they view it as a valuable source of experience from which they can learn and improve. “That didn’t work,” they might think, “so this time I’ll try something a little different.”

Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Overall intelligence has long been believed to be one factor contributing to success in different areas of life, but some experts suggest that emotional intelligence may actually matter even more.² Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand, utilize, and reason with emotions. Emotionally intelligent people are able to understand not only their own emotions, but those of others as well.

To improve your emotional intelligence:

• Pay attention to your own emotions. Focus on identifying what you are feeling and what is causing those feelings.
• Manage your emotions. Step back and try to view things with an impartial eye. Avoid bottling up or repressing your feelings, but look for healthy and appropriate ways of dealing with what you are feeling.
• Listen to others. This not only involves hearing what they are saying, but also paying attention to nonverbal signals and body language.

Develop Mental Toughness

Mental toughness refers to the resilience to carry on and continue trying even in the face of obstacles.³ People who possess this mental strength see challenges as opportunities. They also feel that they have control over their own destiny, are confident in their abilities to succeed, and are committed to finishing what they start.

What can you do to improve your mental toughness and increase your chances of being successful in life?

• Believe in yourself. Cut out negative self-talk and look for ways to stay positive and self-encouraging.
• Keep trying. Even when things seem impossible or setbacks keep holding you back, focus on ways that you can develop your skills and keep soldiering forward. One of the key habits of successful people is always looking at setbacks or failures as learning opportunities.
• Care for yourself. Staying strong also means that you treat yourself with kindness. Check in with yourself regularly to ensure you have the things you need to thrive.
• Look for growth opportunities. Learning more about yourself and challenging yourself to try new things can provide opportunities for self-discovery.

Strengthen Your Willpower

In a long-running longitudinal study, psychologists followed a group of children who were identified by their teachers as highly intelligent. As they compared how these subjects fared throughout childhood and into adulthood, researchers found that those who ultimately were the most successful in life shared some key characteristics, including perseverance and willpower.⁴

These characteristics tend to be part of an individual’s overall personality, but they are also something you can improve. Delayed gratification, learning to persist in the face of challenges, and waiting for the rewards of your hard work can often be the key to success in life.

Strategies you can use to improve your willpower include:

• Distraction. For example, if you are trying to lose weight but are having a difficult time staying away from your favorite snacks, distracting yourself during your moments of weakness can be an effective way to avoid giving in to temptation.
• Practice. Willpower is something you can build, but it takes time and effort. Start by making small goals that require will power to achieve, such as avoiding sugary snacks. As you build your ability to use your will power to achieve such small goals, you may find that your willpower is also stronger when working on much larger goals.

Focus on Intrinsic Motivations

What is it that motivates you the most? Do you find that the promise of external rewards keeps you reaching for your goals, or is it the more personal, intrinsic motivators that keep you feeling inspired? While extrinsic rewards such as money, awards, and praise can be helpful, many people find that they are most motivated when they are doing things for personal satisfaction.

If you are doing things because you enjoy them, because you find them meaningful, or because you enjoy seeing the effects of your work, then you are driven by intrinsic motivations. Research has shown that while incentives can be a better predictor of some types of performance, intrinsic motivators tend to be better at predicting performance quality.⁵

While it is often the external motivators that get people started, it is the internal motivators that kick in and keep people going in order to maintain those new behaviors.

What can you do to boost your sense of intrinsic motivation?

• Challenge yourself. Pursuing a goal that is achievable but not necessarily easy, is a great way to increase motivation to succeed. Challenges can keep you interested in a task, improve your self-esteem, and offer feedback on areas you can improve on. Choosing a slightly challenging task will help motivate you to get started—it feels exciting!
• Stay curious. Look for things that grab your attention and that you want to learn more about.
• Take control. It can be difficult to stay intrinsically motivated to pursue a goal if you don’t feel that you have any real influence over the outcome. Look for ways that you can take an active role.
• Don’t fear competition. There might be other people trying to reach the same goals as you, but this doesn’t mean you should give up. Don’t compare your progress or journey to anyone else’s. You can look to others for motivation and inspiration, but remember that we all have different paths.

Set Achievable Goals

Successful people know that they need to start by having attainable goals to achieve. These goals are not necessarily easy to reach, but by having something to aim for, you will be better able to move forward and overcome obstacles.

When setting goals:

• Be as specific as possible: Choosing a goal like “I’m going to spend 20 minutes a day learning a new language” is more achievable than setting a general goal like “I’m going to learn French.”
• Break your goal into smaller steps: Even if you select a specific goal, it can often seem difficult to achieve. Try breaking it into smaller steps that allow you to focus on moving forward without becoming overwhelmed.
• Reward progress: Recognize your successes along the way and allow yourself to enjoy your accomplishments.

One of the biggest reasons people don’t follow through on their goals [is] because they aren’t what THEY want to do. Make sure your goals align with your personal values and needs, not what you ‘think’ you should do.

— DIVYA ROBIN, LMHC, PSYCHOTHERAPIST

Nurture Traits Linked to High Potential

Psychologists have long attempted to link specific traits or personality characteristics to success in life and work. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is one widely used assessment that is often utilized by businesses to screen job candidates. However, research often fails to show that the MBTI actually correlates to performance.⁶

According to some more recent research, there are certain traits that tend to be consistently tied to success.⁷ Researchers Ian MacRae and Adrian Furnham have identified six key traits that can play a role in how well people do at work.⁸ However, they note that there are optimal levels of these traits. Too little of these characteristics can hinder success, but so can having too much.

If you are trying to learn how to be successful in life, consider what you can do to nurture these key traits:

Conscientiousness

Conscientious people consider the effects of their actions. They also consider how other people will react and feel. You can nurture this trait by:

• Thinking about the consequences of actions
• Considering other people’s perspectives

Accepting of Ambiguity

Life is full of situations that are not always clear. People with a great deal of potential for success are better able to accept this ambiguity. Rather than being rigid and inflexible, they are ready to adapt when the unexpected comes their way. You can learn to embrace ambiguity by:

• Challenging your perspectives and considering opinions and ideas other than your own
• Not fearing the unfamiliar
• Being willing to change
• Valuing diversity

Capable of Adjustment

In addition to being able to accept ambiguity, success often hinges on the ability to quickly adjust to change. You can nurture this ability to adjust by:

• Reframing difficult situations, to see them as opportunities to learn and grow rather than simply obstacles to live through
• Being open to change; when plans or situations change, step back and look at ways to cope

Courageous

The world’s most successful people often exemplify great courage. They are willing to take risks, even in the face of potential failure. Research suggests that courageous people utilize positive emotions to overcome fear.⁹ You can improve your tolerance of risk by:

• Quelling negative emotions and focusing on more positive feelings
• Balancing risk with common sense; being cautious and pragmatic can also pay off, depending upon the situation

Curiosity

People who are successful tend to be curious about the world around them. They are always eager to learn more, including new knowledge and skills. You can cultivate your sense of curiosity by:

• Relating tasks to your interests: If you find filing boring, for example, look for a more efficient way to categorize the information to play to your strengths as an organizer.
• Learning new things

Competitiveness

Successful people are able to utilize competition to motivate, but avoid falling prey to jealousy. You can nurture a healthy sense of competition by:

• Focusing on your own improvements; rather than worry about being the best at something, pay attention to your progress
• Being happy when others succeed

Some personality traits and types may be better suited for certain jobs than others. However, no specific personality trait can guarantee success, nor can being low in that trait doom someone to failure.

While there are differences in opinion on just how much personality can be altered, nurturing some of these high potential traits might help you develop skills that can serve you well in many different aspects of your life.

Cultivate Strong Social Support

Doing things alone can be difficult, but having a strong social support system can make things easier. Different types of social support can be important for success.

• Emotional support can provide the comfort, security, and empathy you need as you face challenges.
• Esteem support can boost your confidence and encourage you to keep going.
• Informational support can provide mentorship, advice, and other necessary resources to reach your goals.
• Tangible support can help you in active and practical ways. This might involve someone helping you perform a task or taking care of the task for you.

Having even one close person in your life that you feel you can go to in any circumstance is more helpful for your relational well-being than having 10 friends who are surface level. It’s about quality, not quantity.

— DIVYA ROBIN, LMHC, PSYCHOTHERAPIST

Mentors, friends, co-workers, and family members can cheer you on when things get tough and even offer advice and assistance that can help you improve your chances for success.

Avoid Burnout

Burnout can happen when you are exposed to chronic stress. It can seriously impede success and lead to exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced performance.¹⁰ 

Reduced motivation makes it harder to stick to your goals and can make you feel apathetic and uninterested.

Self-care strategies, such as getting enough sleep and engaging in healthy eating, can relieve some stress. But addressing burnout often requires getting to the bottom of the issue that is causing the problem.

Related: 13 Rules for Success

Sometimes, this might mean reassessing your goals. If your goals are creating too much stress or if you are trying to achieve too much too fast, it can be a recipe for burnout. Look for ways to reduce stress, whether that involves shifting your goals, changing your plans, or even doing something more significant like moving somewhere else or changing jobs.

 Keep in Mind

There is no single measure of success, and certainly no single answer for how to be successful in life. Yet by looking at some of the habits of successful people, you can learn new tactics and strategies to implement in your own daily life. Cultivate and nurture these abilities, and over time you may find that you are better able to reach your goals and achieve the success you want in life.