You knew what was going to happen before y’all got back together. It’s not like this was the first time and sadly it won’t be the last. The truth is they haven’t changed and you haven’t either. Both y’all are still the same but expect things to be different this time. Are you just breaking up to make up?
You can love and want someone, and it can still not be enough. It takes more than taking a person back to make a relationship work. I don’t care how much you want it to work, both of you have to work on yourselves. I’m sorry, I apologize, and I love you might end the argument but does absolutely nothing to fix the relationship.
Before you accept them back ask yourself what are you taking back. It’s not just your husband or wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend. You are taking back all the things you don’t like about them. All of the traits, lies, games, and whatever habits caused y’all to break up in the first place. Sometimes you have to look past the person and see what they do and who they are.
Don’t Just Break up to Make up!
I have been there before and I understand. The fact is too often we love people who don’t deserve our love. We hold on to them because we love them not because they love us. Believe it or not, there is a such thing as loving someone too much. And when that happens you end up depriving yourself of the love you deserve.
Remember when they come back, acting like it’s all good, just what you’re taking back. What you get back is everything you let go of before. Everything you said you didn’t want, and you deserve better than will walk right back into your life. No, you won’t be lonely. Y’all will be back together but you know it won’t be for long. All you will be doing is setting yourself up for disappointment again.
Before y’all commit to each other, commit to the work. Both of y’all have to be willing to fix what is wrong separately and together. Even if they won’t work on themselves, still work on you. The worst thing that can happen is you become a better person for the person who will be better to and for you. Then you can stop playing makeup to break up.
Jeff Thomas
Publisher • Opinion Columnist • Licensed General Contractor • Real Estate Appraiser • New Orleans
Jeff Thomas is the publisher of Black Source Media and one of New Orleans’ most direct voices on civic affairs, economic justice, and Louisiana politics. He writes from the intersection of experience and accountability — as a licensed general contractor,a tech company founder and executive with over 30 years experience, and a businessman who has worked across the city’s civic, media, and construction ecosystems for decades.
His Sunday column covers Louisiana legislative politics, insurance discrimination, housing policy, and the forces shaping Black community life in New Orleans and across the state. Thomas writes in the tradition of Black journalists who hold power accountable without apology — building arguments from data, delivering verdicts from evidence, and speaking to Black New Orleans with the directness the moment demands.
He is also the principal of Executive Appraisers Louisiana, an MBE-certified real estate appraisal firm, and EA Inspection Services, LLC, a government inspection services company. Black Source Media is his platform for the civic conversation New Orleans has needed and too rarely had.
Selected Articles by Jeff Thomas
Black Neighborhoods Pay the Highest Insurance Rates in Louisiana. Here’s What They Don’t Want You to Know.
They Didn’t Yell the N-Word. They Went to Law School, Bided Their Time, and Rewrote the Constitution Instead.
Vappie vs. Morrell: Why Does Justice Look Different in New Orleans?
The State Has the Money. New Orleans East Just Needs Them to Use It.
The Failure of Mitch Landrieu
Publisher — Black Source Media
Jeff Thomas
Publisher • Opinion Columnist • Licensed General Contractor • Real Estate Appraiser • New Orleans
Jeff Thomas is the publisher of Black Source Media and one of New Orleans’ most direct voices on civic affairs, economic justice, and Louisiana politics. He writes from the intersection of experience and accountability — as a licensed general contractor,a tech company founder and executive with over 30 years experience, and a businessman who has worked across the city’s civic, media, and construction ecosystems for decades.
His Sunday column covers Louisiana legislative politics, insurance discrimination, housing policy, and the forces shaping Black community life in New Orleans and across the state. Thomas writes in the tradition of Black journalists who hold power accountable without apology — building arguments from data, delivering verdicts from evidence, and speaking to Black New Orleans with the directness the moment demands.
He is also the principal of Executive Appraisers Louisiana, an MBE-certified real estate appraisal firm, and EA Inspection Services, LLC, a government inspection services company. Black Source Media is his platform for the civic conversation New Orleans has needed and too rarely had.
Selected Articles by Jeff Thomas
Black Neighborhoods Pay the Highest Insurance Rates in Louisiana. Here’s What They Don’t Want You to Know.
They Didn’t Yell the N-Word. They Went to Law School, Bided Their Time, and Rewrote the Constitution Instead.
Vappie vs. Morrell: Why Does Justice Look Different in New Orleans?
The State Has the Money. New Orleans East Just Needs Them to Use It.
The Failure of Mitch Landrieu