Everything we know is wrong. Because there’s smoke doesn’t mean there’s fire. Just because you have two in one hand and two in the other doesn’t mean you have four. Just because you’re peeing on my leg doesn’t mean that it’s not raining. And just because a rich Republican donor paid for Clarence Thomas’ mama’s house, his grand-nephew’s tuition, and flew and sailed Thomas all around the world on a private jet and yacht doesn’t mean anything shady was going on. So there. That’s that.

So we should cease with all our common senses, and causes and effects, and two plus twos equal fours. Contrary to common sense, Clarence Thomas was in fact not some type of rent-a-Justice that Harlon Crow, the donor, had on retainer so that he and his friends or friends’ friends could pimp out. Sometimes nice people just do extraordinarily nice things for people.

Justice Clarence Thomas has done nothing wrong

Yes, I know if somebody does one extraordinary favor after another for someone, common sense tells us that that someone would feel indebted. Not Clarence Thomas though. He belies common sense. From the moment Thomas put on that robe, all the trappings and emotions that cloud the judgment of mere mortals left his body. He became heartless, a super Stoic, able to stomach lavish favors and gifts without it penetrating his steely, docile reserve.

Common sense may be pushing you to ask commonsensical questions like: why would this billionaire be showering Clarence Thomas with all these gifts in the first place? I mean, after all, it’s Clarence Thomas of all people. He doesn’t come off as that cool of a guy. But despite all outward appearances maybe it’s that we just don’t know Clarence Thomas like Harlon Crow does.

Beneath that aforementioned steely, docile reserve, Clarence Thomas may be an outgoing socialite, the life of the party. According to Clarence Thomas himself, he’s not the grumpy guy in the robe. He says he’s a “regular stock” loving guy who likes hanging out in RV parks and Walmart parking lots. Just think, if he’s a hoot in a RV, he just might turn into Richard Pryor once he gets on a jet or a yacht. And that’s just the older version of Clarence Thomas.

In his younger days, Anita Hill once testified about how wild young Clarence Thomas was. Let Hill tell it, young Clarence Thomas was heavy into sex, porn, and pubic hairs in his coke. While at work. And this was when he wasn’t walking around the office bragging that he had a penis like Long Dong Silver.

Justice Clarence Thomas has done nothing wrong

So maybe he’s just that cool, so cool that a billionaire can’t help but shower him, his mama, and grand-nephew with gifts.

But let’s just imagine for a second that all this is not on the up and up. Let’s imagine that common sense is right. Somehow these gifts resulted in some type of favoritism before the court, whether it’s for something or someone Crow had a vested interest in or just a casual one. Even if this were true, Clarence Thomas still wouldn’t have done anything wrong based on Supreme Court’s ethical standards. That’s because the Court has no clear ethical standards.

Apparently when concocting this concept of a body of judges holding the supreme legal say so for a lifetime appointment, nobody stopped to include clear ethical boundaries they’d have to live up to during this appointment. Apparently, the thought was that being gifted a position for a lifetime would remove the temptations that betray those who have to cyclically seek re-election. So much for that type of common sense.

But back to reality. We’re now under a new paradigm of logical thinking. Up is down. Left is right. And just because somebody buys somebody’s mama a house, pays for their grand-nephew’s tuition, treats that person to all kinds of lavish trips, then vows to build a museum in that person’s honor, it doesn’t under any circumstances mean anything shady is going on.  That’s a lesson we all need to learn. Thanks for that, Clarence Thomas. You’ve truly treated us to a teachable moment. Class dismissed.

One thought on “Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas Is Not Being Pimped”
  1. Speechless frustrated hopeless on everything about the Supreme Court.
    I knew Trump and other GOP appointments were bad for this country but never thought it could dismantle common sense and truth but here we are

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