A gang of infectious disease experts stormed the State Capitol last week. They armed themselves with hard earned expertise gained from Facebook and Twitter. Then these experts sought to debunk the COVID-19 precautions. Precautions put forth by doctors, scholars, and lawmakers at a Health Committee meeting on Monday.

Masks My Ass

Masks My Ass and My Child Has The Right To Catch And Spread Covid. This is an accurate summation of their more forceful slogans.

The committee was left dumbfounded. Lucky for them, there were no nooses erected outside. And no chants of hang Joe Kanter, the state’s Department of Health Public Officer. Any facts, figures, or medical data the committee put forward did not matter. They could never rebut the experts’ simple and obvious fact. No one knows what’s best for their children more than an enraged parent.

These experts were told that the mask mandate would protect teachers as well as students. Masks ensure the continuation of in-person learning without exposure to a potentially deadly disease. The experts replied that masks were child abuse and not normal. And kids have the right to see their teachers’ full faces. The latter must’ve been a recognization of the obvious fact. Louisiana has some of the most beautiful and handsome teachers in the nation. Because no other explanation was given for the importance of unveiling their faces.

Unmask Our Kids Louisiana

Members of Unmask Our Kids Louisiana, an intellectual think tank rooted on Facebook, were on hand. Like their fellow experts, they basically and forcefully argued that COVID-19 has a right to exist also. It’s just a seasonal viral disease, they claimed. And yeah it kills people, but the best way to combat it is to co-exist with it through natural immunity, regardless of overfilled hospitals and carnage. There were a lot of palms being slapped on foreheads before the committee ended the meeting.

But the experts weren’t done. Later that week, there they were at it again. This time they stormed a BESE meeting and left the proceedings in a virtual heap of smoldering ash. After much he-hawing and intellectual conniption-fitting, the experts finally forced the members to adjourn the meeting before voting on whether Governor John Bel Edwards’ mask mandate would apply to schools in Louisiana. The move gives the experts more time to threaten, harass, and intimidate the members before the next attempt to vote. It should be a very exciting time for those members and their families.

Meanwhile, the experts’ fearless leader, former President Donald Trump, also known as the expert of experts, was busy being booed while giving a speech in Alabama. At a rally for who knows what, Trump got a little too Trumpy and ended up suggesting that everyone get a COVID-19 vaccine ASAP. The suggestion was met with the aforementioned boos. In true Trumpian fashion, you can be sure he’ll deny he ever suggested it, while vowing never to repeat it again.

Here at home, Louisiana continues to lead the nation in per capita Covid cases, a stunning achievement that ranks right up there with its per capita leading prison population. Enraged and unmasked parents see the school mask mandate and  potential vaccination requirement as a way of turning schools into the equivalent of prisons. Some see that as a strange recognition of the school to prison pipeline.

With that said, the next few weeks should provide some memorable times as the two intellectual titans collide, scholars and lawmakers on one side, enraged parents on the other. You can be sure that here at Think 504, we’ll do our best to keep you informed.

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