Maybe the mayor should show them a little leg. Maybe give them a lil extra twist in her hips when she walks by. Yeah. They’d like that. Or on conservatively dressed days, maybe cuff her pants to expose a bit of ankle, revealing the smooth contours of bone. Whew. That’ll get a rise out of them, those creepy white men.
Mayor Cantrell has a creepy white man problem.
If I was a creepy white man, I wonder if I’d stalk the mayor, too. I mean, she does look mean in a pair of jeans. On the dance floor, she does sway something sassy. She definitely got that black as you-know-what-attitude. Who knows, maybe I’d join them, those fellow creepy white men, tongue wagging and dripping saliva, nose to the pavement like a bloodhound. Who got that scent?
How does one become a creepy white man? Have you ever wondered? Do you merely have to do something creepy, like sift through 630 hours of surveillance footage, all just to catch a glimpse of the mayor? Is there an entrance fee? Some type of initiation? A ball? Do you get a discount if you donate to the Metropolitan Crime Commission? Can I simply identify as one?
Should the mayor be flattered? In this land of the free, selfish, cut-throat, and brave, creepy white men reign supreme. They’re the powerful possessors of privilege. And just think, here she is, little ole LaToya, the apple of their affection, the dimple of their desire. An explanation is required.
Ever since the mayor began doing an incredibly incompetent job of running the city, creepy white men have come out of the closet and become — well…increasingly creepy. Things they put up with under previous administrations are absolutely intolerable under this one.
Like possessive husbands, they now need to know when she comes and goes. They need to know how she’s spending “their” money (what you doing with those Wisner funds and first class flights?). Lately, her staying downtown in a city owned apartment without paying rent has become the most pressing infatuation. Even though city law possibly says she doesn’t have to. Is she staying there alone? Maybe……
This has clearly sparked creepy white man arousal. They can’t take it – visions of her black ass getting away with imagined atrocities. It’s just too much. So what do they do? They follow her, snapping pictures with telescoping lenses. They monitor her mail. Then they monitor her maintenance requests. They even camp out waiting to catch a glimpse of her sunbathing on a balcony, annoyed because she put up the privacy screen.
Do Powerful White Men Lust After the Mayor
Remember when the mayor said she flies first class to protect her mental health and safety as a black woman? Initially, that sounded utterly ridiculous. But who knows? She is being stalked, photographed, surveilled. And her picture is blasted on the evening news like a mugshot. Who knows? Maybe she’s onto something.
Imagine what it is to be a creepy white man though. To get away with this, to live free with zero repercussions or judgment. It’s a facet of the American dream, one almost as old as white men lusting after black women.