The straight and crisp answer to “how important is sex for a man” is that sex is one of the most crucial reasons why men want to be in a relationship in the first place. It sounds shallow but men are wired in a way that sex or the prospect of sex makes them attracted to woman. Love comes into the picture well after the attraction episode.
You might wonder why it is that men care so much about sex. Or why is sex important to men? Women have wondered for years why this always proves to be one of the most important aspects of any relationship. Though sex matters to women at first, when they get comfortable in a relationship or when there are other things going on in the dynamic, then sex is often the first thing to go. This will NEVER happen for a man, and there are deeper reasons to this than you might expect. There are a multitude of reasons why sex in a marriage is so important to men, and why it always will be.
You have to look at this from with a male point of view, and that may be hard at times. Women need the romance, the passion, and the chemistry to tell her that the love is alive and going well. Women need to be loved and cherished, and this is often through verbal signs of affection. Men, on the other hand, are very straightforward and almost primal in their needs. They need to have sex in a relationship because it shows strength and unity.
Though sex may be just another chore for women, this will never be the case for men, men need sex. This is how men see that the relationship is alive and strong, and when that is missing he starts to panic. He needs sex to ensure that you are happy together and that you are both getting what you need out of the relationship with one another. Sex matters to men in any relationship, and now you can understand exactly why that is—understanding the importance of sex can really ensure that you keep this as a priority to show him that you love him and care about your relationship!
Here’s why sex is important to men in a marriage:
Sex is the way men connect
If you want to know how men think about sex in a relationship, then think of it as the one thing that keeps you connected. No matter what else is going on or how far apart you may feel at times, sex is what unites you. It shows him that you make him a priority and that you will always care about how he feels.
Yes, it really is that important to him and so when he sees that you are making sex in a relationship a priority, he will stay committed to you and know that you feel the same way about him. He needs this connection, for it’s less about just physical intimacy and more about staying strong as a couple in a way that he really understands and appreciates. This is why sex is so important to men.
Sex is a way to stay close
Even if you have a fight, you may use sex to reiterate that connection. In his mind, you are showing that you are close to one another when you are physical with one another. This is your connection, this is your bond, and this is how you show that you love each other. Sure words are nice, but this very physical act helps him to see that things are good and that you are happy with one another.
He needs that reassurance, and he needs to have sex in a relationship to show that you are a well-aligned couple. When the sex is good and it’s present, then he can move forward knowing that he has a partner and that makes him happy. The importance of sex in a relationship to him means that there is a true bond present and it’s alive and kicking!
Sex is a way to unite
Sex in a relationship means that this is how you unite, even when everything else is stressful or you have a disagreement. You as a woman may not understand it but if sex isn’t present then he’s immediately concerned and knows that something is wrong. It helps him to see that everything is really okay and that he can look at you as a partner in the long term.
Other key facts on why sex is so important for men
Here are a few additional facts about the importance of sex (to men) that you must know.
The male ego is often tied to sex
A man’s ego can be very fragile. Why sex is important is because most often sex is tied to his ego since that is what motivates him, keeps him going. It is so important for him to please his woman and if she dismisses bedroom problems constantly, then he may take it very personally. If you have intimacy issues, talk about it (in a manner that won’t hurt his ego) with him. Men do appreciate honesty as well.
Men see sex as a celebration
Men wish women would take more of a ‘carpe diem’ approach to sex. On the long list of our priorities, sex should not be on the bottom rung.” says Dr Schaefer. Men want women to make sex a priority. Sure, in a marriage, there could be loads of other important tasks and decisions to be made on a daily basis. But, for the health and longevity of the relationship, sex must always be prioritized. And if you consciously do that, think of the other benefits: sex alleviates anxiety and stress, reduces blood pressure, promotes healing and bonding.
Men love fantasies
Men want to share their fantasies but worry their wives will shame or judge them,” says Dr. Kort. Encourage your man to speak his heart out to you. Why stick to the same old routine day after day? Ask him what excites him and then go with the flow. You can even reveal your own fantasies with him and open yourself to these possibilities.
Men love sex for sex’s sake
“Men want their wives to enjoy raw sex, not just endure it or take it personally. For men, it’s not about dominating a woman, but ravishing her” says Joe Kort, PhD, a psychotherapist and sexologist. What’s best, then? At times, enjoy some ‘throw-me-down’ sex with your man!
Men love praise
Men are no different from women when it comes to compliments! When you compliment your man, it boosts his sexual confidence. This praise can be showered before and after your intimate moments. Men are conditioned to constantly worry about things like size, performance and the like. That’s a lot of pressure on them. However, when you share positive affirmations with him, it not only takes the pressure off but lets him know that you deeply love and care for him too.
Final thoughts
No matter what else is going on, your man can look for sex in a relationship with you and know that he will always have that with you—this is how you remain united and bridge the gap even if there is a temporary setback. He cares about you and he wants to show you that in a physical manner. This is how he does that, so remember that sex will always be of great importance to him!
First Published on Marriage.com
Jeff Thomas
Publisher • Opinion Columnist • Licensed General Contractor • Real Estate Appraiser • New Orleans
Jeff Thomas is the publisher of Black Source Media and one of New Orleans’ most direct voices on civic affairs, economic justice, and Louisiana politics. He writes from the intersection of experience and accountability — as a licensed general contractor,a tech company founder and executive with over 30 years experience, and a businessman who has worked across the city’s civic, media, and construction ecosystems for decades.
His Sunday column covers Louisiana legislative politics, insurance discrimination, housing policy, and the forces shaping Black community life in New Orleans and across the state. Thomas writes in the tradition of Black journalists who hold power accountable without apology — building arguments from data, delivering verdicts from evidence, and speaking to Black New Orleans with the directness the moment demands.
He is also the principal of EA Inspection Services, LLC, a government inspection services company. Black Source Media is his platform for the civic conversation New Orleans has needed and too rarely had.
Selected Articles by Jeff Thomas
Black Neighborhoods Pay the Highest Insurance Rates in Louisiana. Here’s What They Don’t Want You to Know.
They Didn’t Yell the N-Word. They Went to Law School, Bided Their Time, and Rewrote the Constitution Instead.
Vappie vs. Morrell: Why Does Justice Look Different in New Orleans?
The State Has the Money. New Orleans East Just Needs Them to Use It.
The Failure of Mitch Landrieu
Publisher — Black Source Media
Jeff Thomas
Publisher • Opinion Columnist • Licensed General Contractor • Real Estate Appraiser • New Orleans
Jeff Thomas is the publisher of Black Source Media and one of New Orleans’ most direct voices on civic affairs, economic justice, and Louisiana politics. He writes from the intersection of experience and accountability — as a licensed general contractor,a tech company founder and executive with over 30 years experience, and a businessman who has worked across the city’s civic, media, and construction ecosystems for decades.
His Sunday column covers Louisiana legislative politics, insurance discrimination, housing policy, and the forces shaping Black community life in New Orleans and across the state. Thomas writes in the tradition of Black journalists who hold power accountable without apology — building arguments from data, delivering verdicts from evidence, and speaking to Black New Orleans with the directness the moment demands.
He is also the principal of EA Inspection Services, LLC, a government inspection services company. Black Source Media is his platform for the civic conversation New Orleans has needed and too rarely had.
Selected Articles by Jeff Thomas
Black Neighborhoods Pay the Highest Insurance Rates in Louisiana. Here’s What They Don’t Want You to Know.
They Didn’t Yell the N-Word. They Went to Law School, Bided Their Time, and Rewrote the Constitution Instead.
Vappie vs. Morrell: Why Does Justice Look Different in New Orleans?
The State Has the Money. New Orleans East Just Needs Them to Use It.
The Failure of Mitch Landrieu
Doesn’t seem interesting to care what they think. They’re too unstable.