Masked men are coming to relieve the city of Hispanics. The plan is to kidnap them while they’re doing suspicious things like gardening. Once in custody, they’ll be deported to open-armed countries like El Savador or Guatemala.
SWAMP SWEEP
Operation Swamp Sweep is what they’re calling it. Come today, 250 sweepers will descend upon the streets of New Orleans. They’ll patrol the city in packs. Because everybody knows it takes at least 5 sweepers to subdue one Hispanic. The sweepers have performed similar operations in Chicago and Charlotte to rousing passions.
Don’t be swayed by the rhetoric of immigration advocates citing innocence and abuse. We’ve seen how the game goes. Time and time again, Hispanics show up at construction sites and force unwitting business owners to hire them for less than a living wage. Not satisfied, they eventually find their way into our homes. There, they appear armed with mops, brooms, vacuums, rags, and Scrub and Bubbles. It’s our dirt they’re after. “Give up the dirt,” they say, “and nobody will get hurt.” Some have even formed a connection with our pets and children. Starting today, this will all come to an end.
Mayor-elect Helena Moreno has set up a website to aid and abet those who attack our baseboards and carpets. Savvy legislators, foreseeing such a move, concocted SB15 during this year’s legislative session. What seers they are. The bill, signed by future presidential candidate, our own governor Jeff Landry, makes it illegal to interfere with ICE activities. What does that include? A protest? A class on filming them? A mayor being a lil too indignanat? It will be interesting to see how many toes deep Helena stands with the Hispanic community.
Word around town is that the city is bursting with glee at the thought of an ICE raid. As one person on Reddit said, “Imagine how much safer it’ll be once all the construction workers are off the street.”
Related: ICE Detainees Housed at Angola
Unbeknownst to many, ICE or Customs and Border Patrol (CBP) are already here. They’ve been here in smaller numbers for awhile now.
About a month and a half ago, I was jogging down St. Roch in Gentilly. I was almost home when I ran up on no less than 5 masked men huddled around a white pickup truck. Inside was a lone Hispanic man recording with his cellphone. The man was pleading. The agents were demanding. “Get out the car. Roll down your window.” The man refused. Eventually, he was yanked from his truck and thrown in the back of a black sedan with tinted windows. That sedan, 2 just like it, and a brown pickup sped off with the man. According to neighbors, the man was guilty of committing the crime of being a grandfather.
Today is Monday, November 24th, the first night you can sleep in your beds rest assured that crimes like that will soon come to an end.