In The Battle Of Audacity Vs Petty, We All Lose
The year — wait, the month — the month was December. The year was 2025. And under the weight of a federal indictment, the last remaining screws in mayor Latoya Cantrell’s head had finally begun to shake loose. It was an unfortunate incident. The city mourned. The city groaned. Meanwhile, Helena Moreno, the mayor-to-be, formally known as the mayor-elect, was failing to check her ego at the door. Then there was the budget, and the downgrading of the city’s finances, and the arrival of ICE, and the City Council President’s strange infatuation with Marvel memorabilia. Yes, this is a story about New Orleans.
Where to begin? The budget, yes the budget. This all goes back to the budget. The mayor and mayor-elect were dueling over the best way to fill a $200 million deficit of their own making. The mayor, bitter because her mayoralship was circling a toilet, decided the best way to handle the deficit was to flush the city down with it. She proposed unprecedented cuts, and layoffs, also known as good luck presiding over your depleted city. File that under petty.
Banner Pop Up?
The mayor-elect continued downplaying responsibility for her part in the deficit. Instead, she responded by proposing $75 million in financial wizardry to alleviate the pain. As if that wasn’t how we got here. The mayor vetoed the proposal. The mayor-elect led a veto of her veto. It got ugly. Harsh words were exchanged. There was an unnecessary fight over the necessary size of a mayoral fleet. And then…
Then all of a sudden there were banners, big bold bodacious banners hanging from Galiler Hall. The mayor-elect had them hung in preparation of her inauguration. The inauguration was a whole month away. Citizens were like, damn, Jesus ain’t even had a chance to celebrate his birthday. Influencers proclaimed: A new savior has come to town. The local mainstream media feigned obliviousness.
On Think 504, Kenneth Cooper, not of the mainstream, wrote: The audacity. The last time we saw a move so self-serving Mitch Landrieu was tearing down monuments and writing a book about how great of a mayor he was — before he even left office.
As for what happened next, all we know is that once the banners went up, they immediately came down. Apparently, they were marked return to sender. Evidently, the mayor was like, you not about to play in my face like that. For her part, the mayor said she had nothing to do with it. Of course, emails later revealed the opposite. Still, all kinds of details remain unknown. Like were the banners carefully folded, placed in a box, and delivered to the mayor-elect’s door?
Were they stuffed in trash bags instead and dumped at her campaign headquarters? Did they include a note explaining where they could be shoved and which private parts could be wiped with them? The deets, we need the deets. Come on, Teedy.
Related: No Time for a Honeymoon
Meanwhile, a local comedy club mistook a child porn sting for an ICE operation. Fitch’s rating agency became the second agency to downgrade the city’s credit. And City Council President JP Morrell, brandishing a Captain America shield and Thor hammer, appeared on Instagram declaring the end of the Cantrell administration. Yes that happened.
As for what to expect next, expect something weird. Expect something audacious. Expect something petty. Yep expect it all and then some. Because of course, this is New Orleans.